The Dream Job That Broke Me: My Experience with Burnout (and the Signs You Shouldn’t Ignore)

By day three on the job, I was standing inside a London prison, looking around and thinking: “Oh my god, this is exactly what I’ve wanted to do for years.”

I was finally working in what I thought was my dream role - supporting men to build emotional resilience, employability skills, and helping them reintegrate into society once they left. The first six months were really exciting - challenging, but exciting.

However, the novelty soon started to wear off. The reality of the role meant travelling up and down the country, working gruelling hours, and getting very little sleep (who else struggles to sleep anywhere other than their own bed?). On top of that, there was immense pressure to get everything right in incredibly short turnarounds.

We were constantly eating on the go - grabbing Burger King at service stations and wolfing it down because we were so starved for time. At hotels, the only thing I could stomach that early in the morning was sugary pastries and cereal. It was a terrible way to start a day when I was required to be on my feet for hours.

Slowly, it all started to catch up with me. It began with disrupted sleep, a constant sinking feeling of dread in my stomach, a total lack of motivation, and daily headaches.

At my absolute worst point, I woke up shaking. I felt delirious. When you are that exhausted, your judgement becomes severely impaired - which is incredibly unsafe when you are working inside a prison environment. I ended up making poor decisions simply because my brain couldn’t function.

Then came the breaking point. My colleague was leaving, and their help was the only reason I was managing to get everything turned around between our sessions. The following week, another programme was scheduled with double the men. That meant managing double the workload and paperwork, but on even less support than before. The realisation of what lay ahead hit me like a wall. I experienced complete tunnel vision and had a total breakdown. In that moment of sheer overwhelm, when you just know your workload is completely unmanageable and your system shuts down, I knew I couldn't go on. I called the doctor right then and there, and I was officially signed off work for two weeks.

The Illusion of Functioning

It is amazing how well you can still appear to function to the outside world when you are completely running on empty. During my time off, I actually managed to secure a new role. But while waiting for my prison security clearance, I finally had time to stop and think.

My anxiety was through the roof. The thought of stepping foot inside another prison made me feel physically scared. I realised it wasn't safe for me to take the job. I couldn't support those men in the way they deserved when I was struggling so much myself, and being in that environment while mentally compromised was dangerous.

So, I turned the job down.

The relief was immediate, but it also opened the door to a three-month spiral. I battled insomnia, crippling anxiety, and questioned my entire life. What on earth was I going to do now?

I knew I needed to step away from frontline work, so I took a complete pivot into a compliance role at an education recruitment company. I knew I needed to return to a career where I was directly helping people, but the fear of stepping back into the public sector and repeating the cycle of burnout held me back.

The Burnout Checklist: Signs I Wish I Hadn't Ignored

Looking back with my training as a Health Coach, I now see that my body was screaming at me long before the collapse. Burnout doesn’t happen overnight. It drops hints.

If you are currently pushing through the exhaustion, look out for these critical warning signs:

• The Physical Toll: Chronic headaches, waking up shaking, running on caffeine, or physical dread before your workday even begins.

• Impaired Judgement: Finding yourself making uncharacteristic mistakes or struggling to make simple decisions because of brain fog.

• The "High-Functioning" Trap: Believing you are fine just because you are still hitting deadlines, while your internal mental health is crumbling.

• Sleep Disruptions: Being exhausted but unable to sleep, especially when sleeping away from home or under high stress.

  
  

You Don't Have to Wait for the Crash

I used to think the answer to burnout was just finding a different job. It took losing my dream career to realise that the real fix was learning how to look after myself first.

If you read my story and recognised that sinking feeling in your own stomach, please don't wait until you have nothing left to give. You do not have to navigate this alone.

Unsure if you are experiencing standard stress or chronic stress? Email me at hello@pollymilburn.co.uk with the word "QUIZ" and I will send you my free, 15-Question Workplace Burnout Quiz directly to your inbox.

Alternatively, if you are ready to start rebuilding your energy today, Click here to book a free 30-minute discovery call through my website and let’s talk!